The Godly Man

“Who is a wise man and endued with knowledge among you? let him show out of a good conversation his works with meekness of wisdom.” James 3:13

 Being a godly man is our choice. The Apostle James tells us that we are to show or demonstrate the attributes of godly manhood throughout every aspect of our lives. Below are questions to help you determine how you are doing.

 Circle the number that you believe best describes you on this scale ranging from 1 (strongly disagree) to 5 (strongly agree):

1                                                    2                                     3                                  4                                   5

     Strongly Disagree               Disagree                      Neutral                      Agree                    Strongly Agree

1. BEHAVIOR

I am/act mature; I refuse to respond in childish, self-centered ways.    1   2   3   4   5

2. FRIENDSHIP

I have several (e.g., three) extremely close male friends, with whom I can share anything, including my present spiritual condition.    1   2   3   4   5

3. ATTITUDE

I have a teachable attitude; I am willing to learn from others; I refuse to be argumentative.       1   2   3   4   5

4. ATTITUDE

I refuse to be a whiner or complainer; I have a zest for life; I love living it.       1   2   3   4   5

5. PASSION

I have passion for what I do (e.g., work, school, service, etc.).         1   2   3   4   5

6. TIME MANAGEMENT

I manage time well, using it constructively; time management is ultimately “self-management;” I manage myself.        1   2   3   4   5

7. INTEGRITY

As an employee or student, I give 100% of myself in my work.       1   2   3   4   5

8. INTEGRITY

As a student or employee, I refuse to cheat or to participate in dishonesty.       1   2   3   4   5

9. RESPONSIBILITY

• As one who is over 18, I understand that no one owes me anything. It is my job to support myself totally.
• When I turn 18, I understand that no one owes me anything. It is my job to totally support myself.                   1  2  3  4  5

10. MENTAL DISCIPLINE

I educate my mind and keep myself mentally alert by reading, learning, and by furthering my education. I am a lifelong learner.      1   2   3   4   5

11. PHYSICAL FITNESS

I understand that my body is the temple of the Holy Spirit; I choose to exercise on a consistent basis while, at the same time, watching my caloric intake. I refuse to be lazy regarding losing extra pounds.                         1  2  3  4  5

12. RESPECT

• As a member of society and as an employee, I understand that I am to live by the rules of my society and the other places I find myself.
• As one who lives in my parents’ home, I understand I am to live by their rules.   1   2   3   4   5

13. RESPECT

I refuse to join in making fun of other people.        1   2   3   4   5

14. RESPECT

I choose to treat women with respect; I will NOT take advantage of them. And in those cases where I have, I will ask the Lord’s forgiveness for my selfishness and, if possible, ask forgiveness of the females I have harmed. I choose to honor women.    1   2   3   4   5

15. SUBMISSIVE SPIRIT

Others view me as having a submissive spirit to my employer, my church, my teachers, and anyone in authority over me…most of all, my God.         1   2   3   4   5

16. SUBMISSIVE SPIRIT

• I choose to be “mutually submissive” with my wife before the Lord. (Ephesians 5:21)
• If I marry someday, I understand that I am to be a servant leader.       1   2   3   4   5

17. COMMUNICATION

I truly listen intently to my wife, my parents, my teachers, my employer, and my church.   1   2   3   4   5

18. COMMUNICATION

I speak truth; I do not “color” things slightly or embellish things. I keep my word. People who have done business with me once, want to do business with me again because they know I am a man of integrity. My word is my bond.   1   2   3   4   5

19. FINANCIAL RESPONSIBILITY

• I control my spending, keeping it well below my income.
• As a student, I don’t beg my parents to purchase things for me.       1   2   3   4   5

20. FINANCIAL RESPONSIBILITY

 I pay off my credit cards every month. I know how to continually say “no” to things I might want.                    1   2   3   4   5

21. FINANCIAL RESPONSIBILITY

I do not have insufficient funds charges at my bank. I work diligently to develop discipline to curb my appetite for things.   1   2   3   4   5

22. WORK ETHIC

I am not afraid of hard work; I choose to work or study hard without complaining. I understand that every job (when done to the glory of God) can have dignity. No job is beneath me.     1   2   3   4   5

23. WORK ETHIC

I realize that work isn’t everything and I am able to disconnect from my job to focus on other non-work aspects of my life.   1   2   3   4   5

24. SENSITIVITY

• I am affectionate, tender, and nurturing to my wife and family.
• As a single person, I have a loving attitude toward my parents and family.       1   2   3   4   5

25. PRIORITIES

• My wife feels that I put her first.
• As a single person, my parents feel that I honor them.       1   2   3   4   5

26. ROMANCE

I “date” my wife on a weekly/monthly basis or I will do so when I’m married.         1   2   3   4   5

27. COMMITMENT

• I choose to love my wife as Christ loved the church, giving myself up for her.
• When I am married, I will love my wife as Christ loved the church. (Ephesians 5:25)   1   2   3   4   5

28. FATHERING

• I have daily, meaningful conversation with each of my children living in my home. Or, if they have moved out, I seek out meaningful ways to connect with my children.
• As a son living at home, I am willing to daily have meaningful conversation with my parents and family.     1   2   3   4   5

29. FATHERING

• If someone were to ask my children if I put my family first, they would answer with a resounding “yes.”
• When the day comes that I am married, I will put my family first.       1   2   3   4   5

30. PURITY

I choose not to look at pornography.         1   2   3   4   5

31. PURITY

• I don’t flirt with someone who is not my wife.
• As a single man, I don’t flirt with anyone. (Job 31:1)       1   2   3   4   5

32. PURITY

Knowing that “garbage in is garbage out,” I am careful to avoid viewing anything that is trashy or in any way improper or inappropriate. (Psalm 101:3)      1   2   3   4   5

33. PURITY

I refuse to use inappropriate language.      1   2   3   4   5

34. PERSPECTIVE

I’m living my life for the things that count for eternity and in a way as to take as many as I can to heaven with me.      1   2   3   4   5

35. PERSPECTIVE

I am prepared to meet God right now. (Amos 4:12)        1   2   3   4   5

36. DEVOTIONS

 I agree to cultivate a daily prayer, Bible reading/devotion time.    1   2   3   4   5

37. STEWARDSHIP

I understand that I truly “own” nothing; I am only a steward of it for a time. Everything I have belongs to God. The Lord gives, the Lord takes away, blessed be the name of the Lord. (Job 1:21)           1   2   3   4   5

38. STEWARDSHIP

I affirm God’s ownership of all that I have by giving willingly, generously, and happily as directed by the Holy Spirit. I refuse to try to find ways to avoid giving. I do it honestly, straightforwardly, and as anonymously as possible.       1   2   3   4   5

39. ACCOUNTABILITY

 I am willing to have an accountability partner to help me accomplish the items listed here.    1   2   3   4   5

40. EMPOWERMENT

• Knowing that accountability alone cannot help me be a man of integrity, I choose to keep Christ the Lord of my life and myself in the center of His will. I ask that His Holy Spirit would guide my every step in life.
• If I have not yet repented, I resolve to do so and to seek the kingdom of God and His righteousness. (Matthew 6:33)   1  2  3  4  5

41. HONESTY

I have not lied in responding to the questions above.        1   2   3   4   5

ACTION PLAN: If you’re married, ask your wife to rate you on each of these questions. If you are single, ask your parents or a close friend/mentor to rate you. Review the other person’s ratings of the questions and especially note any differences. You may be surprised that their perspective is different than yours. Then, commit to developing an action plan to maintain your strengths and to grow stronger in your weaker areas.

1 Corinthians 2:11a “For what man knoweth the things of a man, save the spirit of man which is in him?…”

Psalm 26:2 “Examine me, O Lord, and prove me; try my reins and my heart.”

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