There is a high level of emotional devastation experienced by someone who learns their spouse has been sexually unfaithful (i.e, affair, pornography). This intense pain is difficult to be fully understood by those who have not experienced it. Sexual infidelity is tremendously damaging to a spouse’s self-esteem, well-being, trust (both personal and relational), and emotional safety. It is helpful to remember that there is hope for healing and restoration. The healing process is one that takes time and has multiple stages. Additionally, individuals will differ on the intensity and symptoms experienced throughout this devastating experience. The resources below are recommended for those in a marriage relationship where sexual betrayal has occurred.
For Further Information:
Video Series by Dr. Sandy Wilson
In this video series, Dr. Wilson shares her personal story of dealing with sexual betrayal. Additionally, Dr. Wilson shares insights she has learned both personally and professionally as a counselor.
This site has information about building healthy marriages. Also, there is helpful information about recovery from affairs and how to affair-proof your marriage.
It’s Not Your Fault The One You Love Uses Porn
This pamphlet addresses how to deal with someone you love who is addicted to pornography. [National Coalition for the Protection of Children and Families]
Joseph: Rebuilding Trust
Joseph experienced multiple betrayals in his life. This document outlines the principles we can learn from Joseph’s life related to trust-building in relationships. [ACCFS]
This article provides information and resources for those still actively struggling with sexual addiction. [ACCFS]
Bloom On-line Community
This website contains online video courses and community support for women healing from the trauma of sexual betrayal.
Betrayal Trauma Assessment
This free assessment is designed to help individuals identify symptoms common to betrayal trauma and provide clarity about how severe such symptoms may be present.
Shattered Vows: Hope and Healing for Women Who Have Been Sexually Betrayed
Author: Debra Laaser
For women who have been sexually betrayed by their husband, whether by addiction to pornography or affairs, this 256-page book will provide support and strength. The author shares her personal journey through betrayal and shares insight from working with hundreds of hurting women in similar situations. Women will find guidance and practical tools for dealing with the physical, emotional, relational, and spiritual implications of sexual betrayal.
Hope After Betrayal: Healing When Sexual Addiction Invades Your Marriage
Author: Meg Wilson
This 160-page book will provide comfort, encouragement, and spiritual insight for women who have been sexually betrayed by their husband. The author shares her personal journey through betrayal along with other examples and Scripture. The end of each chapter includes thoughts and questions for journaling as well as Scripture for meditation.
Worthy of Her Trust: What You Need to Do to Rebuild Sexual Integrity and Win Her Back
Authors: Stephen Arterburn & Jason B. Martinkus
Few challenges in life are as difficult as regaining a wife’s trust—and few are as ultimately worthwhile. Written primarily for men who have fallen into sexual sin, this book speaks to the issue of rebuilding trust in a marriage. It is filled with exercises and tools rooted in counseling principles, as well insights from the wife’s perspective.